So this is something I have found I am pretty passionate about. So this might be long. Or short. Depends on how irritated I get. The long let me rant for hours. Or the short I am so irritated I can' even type straight anymore. Just to warn you.
So Japanese women are sooooo much better than the high schoolers in America who don't really look twice at getting knocked up. Yeah sure some do, but I feel like morals are degrading as a whole. And that some women are just meant to live lives such as those in story books like The Giver, as breeders. They were just here on this earth to reproduce and not really support or impact it at all.
At least in Japan you don't have high schoolers getting knocked up every couple of months. But that is about all I can say for them. In America, I am kind of proud of the fact that when you get knocked up, for a large part, women don't feel the need to marry their baby-daddy. I think that is a good thing. Sure the child should have a solid mother and father figure in their lives, but I still feel that if you want to marry it is a very important thing and you should try to live in love for the remainder of your lives. I can't claim to be super Christian or anything, but perhaps that one fact was ingrained in me pretty good when I was younger. Now, living with someone as if you are married, much like the French do, for all goals and purposes pretty much carrying about as if you are married. I am all for that. And if you break up? No divorce. No worries. And you can go live with the next person of your hearts desire. Not saying that it wouldn't be slightly detrimental for any child, but at least it isn't divorce and you don't have to have bitter fights and arguments and lawyers and such. That stuff is wretched. This isn't to say that that isn't how it normally it, but more and more recently, in teens and young adults and even my mom said something to this effect, that it was more commonly acceptable to not marry and just live with a partner (or not) and just live your lives. Though personally, if you ask me, she is saying that so I won't go off and get married in Japan and threaten to live here forever.
But in Japan. Oh Japan.
In the last 3 completely Japanese weddings that I have been made aware of, all three of them had knocked up their girlfriends first. They feel a certain sort of obligation to the unborn. They don't want it to turn out like John Snow. A bastard loved by no one. Right. Not completely true. Regardless. They feel like pregnancy is an excuse to get married. And even if they want to get married beforehand, they will wait until they put a baby in her belly before breaking out the marriage proposals. Honestly, how lackluster. What the test is positive? Then let's get you fitted for a gown. I guess we are walking down the aisle. What should be the most romantic time of your life, suddenly turns into a chore and an obligation. And suddenly you are too fat for dress fittings and you are supporting a huge baby bump and that honeymoon special time is suddenly dashed because you already had it and now have to wake up to either vomit or feed the baby.
The last couple I know wanted to get married, but waited for the excuse of pregnancy to decide to do so. Their wedding party is this weekend. She is 5 months. Also they have known each other less than a year. In the time I have been in Japan, he was dating someone else first for way longer than his current girl and when they broke up he was devastated and wanted to get back together. I met him around a year ago as they just started dating (2 weeks) and he was making some comments towards me that he really shouldn't have in presence of a significant other. I mean nothing too bad. And here we are now. A year later....
There is no romance in Japan. Just people who don't love each other making babies.
I know that was a terrible thing to say. Terrible and true. You will find no hand holding in Japan. No public kissing. No 'I love you's' no over the top ohmygosh proposals. This is not a country for romance. All the women and men are reserved, yet in secret love reading about all these cute over the top little romances in their mangas. Know what doesn't happen in their mangas? Unexpected pregnancy and obligatory marriage. But what can you expect from a country with hardly any sex education and women's contraception not being easily availble and super expensive. Not to mention they look down on you for having it.
To expand upon the our romance issue, let me supply you with a lovely little example I got to witness first hand last weekend I was in Kyushu and saw a couple. She was perhaps 6-7 months pregnant. They were going over rocky terrain, up and down hills, stairs, slippery areas next to a waterfall, and all sorts of stuff on their way to a sacred shrine (Amano Iwato Jinjya). He supported her, exactly not at all. She is carrying your prodigy around inside her for 6-7 months so far, I think you owe it to her to watch out for her and care a little. But that is just me. I was flabbergasted at lack of effort.
Before you go about thinking that oh maybe she was just independent, and perhaps she was, this is the thought you have about a country where most adult women either have no job or pretty easily replaceable meaningless jobs by 30 so that they can pop out them babies. In fact, companies prefer not to hire women over here out of college. The reason being is that once they are trained and finally have the routine and have been working 2 or 3 years, they will be looking and getting married and then quitting and then the company has to spend time training and hiring new people to fill those spots and production levels decrease for a while. Sure it is discrimination, but pretty true discrimination. Of the three purely Japanese marriages I mentioned that I knew of personally, none of the women currently work. Sure that is because one is pregnant, one just had a child and well, so did the other one. But the first of those marriages, she quit her job the day after he proposed. Yup. Guess it is about that time, eh? Finally bagged me a man, guess I don't have to work no more!
I honestly can't decide whose mentality is worse.
The men's who completely disrespect women by using pregnancy as an excuse to get married or think of it as an obligation. If you didn't want said obligation. Then it is your, and solely your responsibility to wrap it. Women don't want to risk that social stigma of contraceptives and have to pay a shit ton for it. But men, men have no excuse for not buying condoms.
Or women, who think that the whole point in life is to find a man and breed. Perhaps that is exactly what it was 200 years ago. But not in the present day. They are making and maintaining their own insipid archetype.
Or perhaps just everyone who thinks that love is not a necessity or prerequisite for baby making. And for some perhaps it isn't. But in Japan apparently just about anyone will do. Know them about 6 months? Better get working on making that belly round. I know a couple who even broke up because the girl wanted no children due to the fact her was a strong carrier for certain undesirable traits, and the man did. So he broke up with her. No love there. Only the biological clock saying BABY TIME for the young buck.
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