Cotillion Class

Not that I ever went...

But I feel like this post is long over due. The Japanese have quite a few no-nos for your typical dining experience. Not just the usual don't eat with your mouth open and no elbows at the table or ( and in my house) no singing at the table... Moving on!

I have discovered a fair few more than your average table manners since living in Japan. And if you want Korean table manners...that will me a much longer post that will happen later if I decide to do it - as there seem to be a plethora.

First a few basics on how to hold.
Hold your chopsticks near the end. Use them to pinch the food and NOT to scissor. There are Japanese people, mostly men, who scissor their food, but it is considered improper.

Ok! Let's begin! 'Itadakimasu!'(いただきます) Which translates to 'I humbly accept' and is said at the beginning of meals to express your gratitude for the food and its preparation.

CHOPSTICK ETIQUETTE
#1
This one is pretty basic, but extremely important. Do not stick your chopsticks in your food. This is done at funerals and it symbolizes death. It is done to honor one who has passed on.

#2
Do not point with your chopsticks or lift them in the air other than to put food in your mouth. Additionally do not move plates, dishes, or tableware around with your chopsticks.

#3
When your chopsticks are not in use they go either beside the bowl, on the bowl, or horizontally in front of you with the tips pointing to the left. This really depends on how fancy the restaurant is.

#4
You might think this is fundamental, but in Korea it is acceptable. Do not feed others with your chopsticks.

#5
 When serving yourself from a common dish that is shared and there is no serving utensils or chopsticks, you use the end of the chopstick that does not touch your mouth to serve food onto your plate. You then reverse your chopsticks again and eat normally from your plate.

#6
When sharing food from your own plate, it is best to transfer it to a smaller plate and then pass it to the person. It is highly offensive to pass it from chopsticks to chopsticks.

EATING ETIQUETTE
#7
It is rude if you do not finish EVERY SINGLE ( and yes I honestly mean that) grain of rice. It is likely acceptable at a restaurant, but at a persons home it is considered rather rude.

#6
Do not add soy sauce to your rice. There are some...seasonings if you will... that are acceptable and are presented as rice seasonings. There are also sauces from the dish you might be eating that is also acceptable to pour over it. (ex: if you are eating a boiled fish dish  that has a juice that it was cooked in and is left over, it might be acceptable to pour it over your rice depending on the restaurant.)

#8
It is polite to lift your bowl off the table to avoid spilling its contents. Especially if it is a small bowl.

#9
It is polite to slurp your soup. They say that if you slurp it, it means that the soup tastes good. Also they say that the added air from slurping offers better taste to the dish.

#10
It is polite to position your dishes in the manner that they were received when you have finished your meal. (Lids, placements, etc)

#11
Do not mix your food. There is a type of rice bowl that is prepared with meat that covers the rice. This is considered  to be the perfect balance and that you should eat it in the condition it is served and not stir or mix the dish.

#12
Eating and/or drinking while walking. It isn't done. Period. Yes, there are lots of vending machines in Japan, but there are the recycle bins right next to them. You are expected to drink your beverage at the location and throw it away or simply take it with you for a later time. Also eating on a subway. Again, it just isn't done. They will probably stare at you until you stop or sneak glances out of the corners of their eyes while making disgruntled sounds.

#13
 It is extremely rude to blow you nose at the table. Actually it is quite rude regardless in Japan. They are a very non-nose blowing culture. Additionally, your handkerchief is something with which you never wipe or blow your nose.

#14
Wash your hands before eating. You are often given a moist towelette or if you are at a really nice place you are given a heated wet cloth to wipe your hands clean. But it is also common practice to wash your hands in a bathroom before you eat. (Yeah this should be basic practice around the world just some places will often fall short and in Japan this is very regularly, if not almost always done).

#15
Toothpicks. Use them. Japanese are very fond of them. Especially if you are male. It is most polite to cover your mouth when using them.

#16
Miso soup. Eat the contents out with your chopsticks and take the bowl to your mouth and drink the broth out as if the bowl were a cup.

DRINK ETIQUETTE
#17
When serving drinks, it is polite to fill everyone else glasses before your own. Additionally it is also polite (especially if you are youngest or want to make a good impression to pay attention to the others drink levels and to refill them if they need it).

#18
When drinking alcohol and someone wants to serve you a drink, you have to down you current glass (rather quickly) in order to graciously accept their offer. It is rude to reject their offer. If you do not drink, ask them to serve you a glass of something else. In Korea we would pour each other sprite in lieu of soju.


And lastly, when you have finished your meal, you state  "Gochisousama deshita!"(ごちそうさまでした), which means 'Thank you for the meal'